Jack Canfield author. speaker. motivator.

Affectionately known as "America's #1 Success Coach," Jack Canfield is the originator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and a leading authority in the areas of self-esteem, achievement motivation, and peak performance. [www.jackcanfield.com]

Arianna Huffington

Arianna Huffington political powerhouse. media mogul. author.

Arianna Huffington is the co-founder and Editor in Chief of the Huffington Post and the author of twelve books. [www.huffingtonpost.com]

Seth Godin

Seth Godin author. speaker. linchpin.

Seth Godin is a prominent author, blogger and speaker. [www.squidoo.com/linchpin]

Krishna Kaur

Krishna Kaur yogi. philanthropist. dynamic teacher.

Krishna Kaur is the founder of YOGA for Youth, a program that takes yoga, meditation, and stimulating discussions on the philosophy of yoga to urban youth. [www.yogaforyouth.org]

Norman Lear

Norman Lear producer. philanthropist. tv legend.

Norman Lear has enjoyed a long career in television and film. He is also a political and social activist and philanthropist. [www.normanlear.com]

Leilani Münter

Leilani Münter race car driver. activist. carbon free girl.

Leilani Münter is a professional race car driver and an environmental activist who uses her voice in the number one spectator sport in America as a catalyst for change. [www.leilanimunter.com]

Kevin Bales

Kevin Bales Freedom Fighter. Philanthropist. Game Changer.

By going undercover to meet slaves and slaveholders, Kevin Bales exposed modern slavery's penetration into the global economy. He co-founded Free the Slaves, which has helped to liberate thousands of slaves. [www.freetheslaves.net]

Sophie Chiche

Sophie Chiche mom. big dreamer. lady in red.

Sophie Chiche, lifebyme.com founder and curator, enjoys asking deep questions and living a life of meaning. Today she's launching Shape House, an urban sweat lodge, a place to melt away fears and fat. [www.shapehousela.com]

Mastin Kipp

Mastin Kipp Writer. Entrepreneur. Daily Lover.

Entrepreneur and writer Mastin Kipp founded TheDailyLove.com, which merges pop culture with inspiration, and co-founded The Love Yourself Company, an apparel company that has started a global self-esteem movement. [www.TheDailyLove.com]

Liz Phair

Liz Phair singer. musician. crier.

Liz Phair is an American singer-songwriter and guitarist. [www.lizphair.com]

Desmond Tutu

Desmond Tutu archbishop. author. peaceful leader.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu is Chairman of The Elders, a group of world leaders who address some of the world's most pressing problems. He works energetically for human-rights and in his ministry. [www.tutu.org]

Zainab Salbi

Zainab Salbi author. ceo. humanitarian.

Zainab Salbi is the founder and CEO of Women for Women International, a group dedicated to helping women survivors of war rebuild their lives. [www.womenforwomen.org]

Sean Stephenson

Sean Stephenson speaker. psychotherapist. life embracer.

Despite his physical challenges, Sean Stephenson has taken a stand for a quality of life that has inspired millions of people around the world. He's a professional speaker, psychotherapist, and author. [www.timetostand.com]

Kia Miller

Kia Miller yogi. meditator. teacher.

Kia Miller teaches Yoga at Yoga Works in Los Angeles, leads teacher trainings, and runs retreats and workshops on meditation, chakras, pranayam, and mantras, and other practices. [www.kiamiller.com]

Simon Mainwaring

Simon Mainwaring creator. writer. idea geek.

Simon Mainwaring is an ex-Nike/Wieden creative, former Worldwide Creative Director at Motorola/Ogilvy, branding/advertising writer, author/speaker/blogger, Australian, idea geek. [www.simonmainwaring.com]

Shannon Bindler

Shannon Bindler Strategist. Writer. Life Coach.

Shannon Bindler is a style editor, life coach, and the co-founder of Get Up Girl, an empowerment company that inspires women to shine. [www.getupgirl.com]

Mathieu Bitton

Mathieu Bitton Designer. Art Director. Passionate Creator.

Grammy-nominated art director/designer/photographer Mathieu Bitton has designed over 450 CDs and movie posters. He's a renowned collector of and authority on black films and their soundtracks. [www.candytangerine.com]

Jorge Perez

Jorge Perez Agent. Producer. Photography Enthusiast.

Opus Reps founder and agent-producer Jorge Perez travels the world producing photo shoots with great photographers and celebrities. He's also very involved with Meals on Wheels in Los Angeles. www.opusreps.com

be. more.

Carrie Cunnington shifter. post-it promoter. should stomper.

Dedicated to empowering high-achieving women to find greater meaning and fulfillment, Carrie Cunnington's coaching has helped hundreds of individuals and teams redefine success, reconnect to their passions, and rejuvenate their personal and professional lives. [www.cunningtonshift.com]

I’ve come to realize that so many of us get caught up in the “shoulds” of life. “My life should look like that. I should have a big house. I should have a big pay check. If I don’t, what will people think?” We want to feel like we fit in, and often fitting in means we have to live a certain way. We’ve come to believe a story that says we have to keep getting better, we have to stand out. We do it even when we start to feel unhappy, even when we want to be different.

I remember exactly when I realized this. I was a teacher at a college when I decided to make a switch to the corporate world to do training and development. I got a phone call from a friend who said, “I’m so happy to hear you’re moving up in the world.” What I immediately heard was, “You’d better keep moving up in the world. You should make more money. You should have a title.”

I was wrapped up in what I believed I should do.

Fortunately, it felt like someone tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Okay, it’s time to move on now. It’s time to find a better fit.” Now, I know I have to make my life my own. When I do it my way, I feel so good. It works and it’s believable. I have a necklace that says, “Be. More.” It’s my reminder to just be – not to be more in the world, but to be more of myself and to be present.

I help people take a step back, reconnect, and rediscover who they are when they’re at their best. I love it when people can say, “I need to make a change. I’m tired of being who everybody else thinks I should be. I just want to be me.”

One of my favorite exercises is to hand over a sticky notepad and say, “Spend the next week reexamining your life. Write down one instance in your life per sticky note of when you felt good about yourself.” Then we lay the sticky notes out on a table and dig in. When we peel away the layers, suddenly we have the unique ingredients that light them up and put a smile on their face. Then I say, “How can you transfer that light to the work you do? What could you do with your life now?”

– Carrie Cunnington

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Your Turn

Do you feel like your life is more filled with shoulds than wants?
How could you eliminate a should and add a want?
Are you willing to do that again tomorrow, and then the day after?

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