deep

Since I launched lifebyme.com almost a year ago, I’ve often been asked why I’ve devoted my life to having meaningful conversations. The answer is so very simple:
I like having them.
I really don’t care for the alternative. I want the real deal – the whole thing, the down and dirty, unedited truth. I want the widescreen version, not the formatted-to-fit-your-TV alternative.
David Allen once spoke about people’s different tolerances for dirty dishes. Some people wash a glass only when they run out of clean ones, some jump on your glass the second you’re done, some even before you’re done. We have different tolerances for the space around us. I like this idea. It’s the same with conversations. We have different tolerances.
Some people talk all evening about the weather and upcoming vacations, while others tell you about being broke or raped even before the appetizer’s served. It makes me think of an evening I spent a few weeks ago with Keith Ferrazzi over dinner in San Francisco. Before our meal, he wanted to start things off on a particular note and out of the 40 or so people there, he turned his attention to me and asked, “What past experience most formed who you are today?” I know why he picked me. He knew I would go there. And I did.
I was aware all evening of people managing their level of comfort around me. Some avoided me like the plague. Some sought me out deliberately. Some tiptoed and came closer an inch at a time until they mustered the courage to come and talk to me … as if talking about what matters is the scariest thing ever.
What scares me is NOT doing it. What scares me is coming to the end of my day – or my life – without having done all I could to go as deep as I could. I’m not sure there’s anything that excites me more than exploring the depths.
In any conversation, I ask myself: How close to what really and truly matters can this conversation go? How transformational can it be? For me? For them? I’ve found common threads that run through every conversation: We all want to love and be loved. We want to be seen. We want to feel like we make a difference. And we all have fears and dreams.
I want to know what those are.
Where you and I commit to digging deep into our own truth … that’s where I feel fully engaged. As Rumi said, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”
- Sophie Chiche
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Today's Poll
When was the last time you sat down with someone and listened to their stories?
Our Take
deep • To go as far as we can. Then go a little bit further. And again.
Your Turn

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