Jack Canfield Jack Canfield author. speaker. motivator.

Affectionately known as "America's #1 Success Coach," Jack Canfield is the originator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and a leading authority in the areas of self-esteem, achievement motivation, and peak performance. [www.jackcanfield.com]

 
Arianna Huffington Arianna Huffington political powerhouse. media mogul. author.

Arianna Huffington is the co-founder and Editor in Chief of the Huffington Post and the author of twelve books. [www.huffingtonpost.com]

 
Seth Godin Seth Godin author. speaker. linchpin.

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Krishna Kaur Krishna Kaur yogi. philanthropist. dynamic teacher.

Krishna Kaur is the founder of YOGA for Youth, a program that takes yoga, meditation, and stimulating discussions on the philosophy of yoga to urban youth. [www.yogaforyouth.org]

 
Norman Lear Norman Lear producer. philanthropist. tv legend.

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Kevin Bales Kevin Bales Freedom Fighter. Philanthropist. Game Changer.

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Mastin Kipp Mastin Kipp Writer. Entrepreneur. Daily Lover.

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Desmond Tutu Desmond Tutu archbishop. author. peaceful leader.

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Zainab Salbi Zainab Salbi author. ceo. humanitarian.

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Sean Stephenson Sean Stephenson speaker. psychotherapist. life embracer.

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Kia Miller Kia Miller yogi. meditator. teacher.

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Shannon Bindler Shannon Bindler Strategist. Writer. Life Coach.

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Mathieu Bitton Mathieu Bitton Designer. Art Director. Passionate Creator.

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Jorge Perez Jorge Perez Agent. Producer. Photography Enthusiast.

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forgiving

Heide Banks Heide Banks relationship expert. author. partnership rep.

Heide Banks is a nationally recognized relationship expert, a bestselling author, and a TV personality. She's the official representative to the United Nations for The Center for Partnership Studies. [www.heidebanks.com]

My life is about forgiveness. In the work I’ve done with myself and others over the last 20 years, I’ve found that unless we really understand forgiveness and are willing to do it, our lives are half-lived.

Life is a series of experiences. Some of them leave us wounded or less than whole. We’re told that time heals all wounds, but it doesn’t. It buries the wounds in our subconscious. Then we try to start a new business or create deeper intimacy in our relationships or be a better parent – whatever journey we’re on at the time – and we wonder why it’s not successful, why we don’t feel all the joy and fulfillment we know is possible. It’s because the places where we lack forgiveness hold us back.

We mistakenly think that if we’ve been wounded in love it only affects our love life. Since he broke your heart, you’re not going to get into another intimate relationship. Yet in your career, you’re only getting so far. I’ve seen over and over again that when people forgive in one area of their life, like love, other areas, like career, jump ahead. They go from being happy enough to being fulfilled in a much greater way. There’s a new sense of ease and grace. It’s because they’ve freed themselves from a load of judgment and that old weight lifts from every part of their life.

The other thing I really care about is redefining forgiveness. In my experience, forgiveness is a process, an intention. Once we start out to forgive, what often happens is that a lot of anger and rage surfaces. There’s a part inside that’s so in need of loving at that moment. That’s where the real work in forgiveness starts, in looking inside at the wounded places and loving the parts that hurt.

Once we start to do that, we reach a state of neutrality or equanimity. Then we can approach whoever or whatever is bothering us. Until we get to that place, we blame them rather than taking the gift of the wound, which is the ability to heal and love ourselves.

Often, we don’t enter into forgiveness because when we look at what’s hurting us or where we’re in judgment, we create a memory of lost possibilities. Having the courage to look at lost possibilities is not easy. But rather than hold our hearts hard to what might have been, when we look and forgive we heal our whole lives.

So love like you’ve never been hurt before. Forgive. And live.

– Heide Banks

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