Jack Canfield Jack Canfield author. speaker. motivator.

Affectionately known as "America's #1 Success Coach," Jack Canfield is the originator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and a leading authority in the areas of self-esteem, achievement motivation, and peak performance. [www.jackcanfield.com]

 
Arianna Huffington Arianna Huffington political powerhouse. media mogul. author.

Arianna Huffington is the co-founder and Editor in Chief of the Huffington Post and the author of twelve books. [www.huffingtonpost.com]

 
Seth Godin Seth Godin author. speaker. linchpin.

Seth Godin is a prominent author, blogger and speaker. [www.squidoo.com/linchpin]

 
Krishna Kaur Krishna Kaur yogi. philanthropist. dynamic teacher.

Krishna Kaur is the founder of YOGA for Youth, a program that takes yoga, meditation, and stimulating discussions on the philosophy of yoga to urban youth. [www.yogaforyouth.org]

 
Norman Lear Norman Lear producer. philanthropist. tv legend.

Norman Lear has enjoyed a long career in television and film. He is also a political and social activist and philanthropist. [www.normanlear.com]

 
Leilani Münter Leilani Münter race car driver. activist. carbon free girl.

Leilani Münter is a professional race car driver and an environmental activist who uses her voice in the number one spectator sport in America as a catalyst for change. [www.leilanimunter.com]

 
Kevin Bales Kevin Bales Freedom Fighter. Philanthropist. Game Changer.

By going undercover to meet slaves and slaveholders, Kevin Bales exposed modern slavery's penetration into the global economy. He co-founded Free the Slaves, which has helped to liberate thousands of slaves. [www.freetheslaves.net]

 
Sophie Chiche Sophie Chiche mom. big dreamer. lady in red.

Sophie Chiche, lifebyme.com founder and curator, enjoys asking deep questions and living a life of meaning. Today she's launching Shape House, an urban sweat lodge, a place to melt away fears and fat. [www.shapehousela.com]

 
Mastin Kipp Mastin Kipp Writer. Entrepreneur. Daily Lover.

Entrepreneur and writer Mastin Kipp founded TheDailyLove.com, which merges pop culture with inspiration, and co-founded The Love Yourself Company, an apparel company that has started a global self-esteem movement. [www.TheDailyLove.com]

 
Liz Phair Liz Phair singer. musician. crier.

Liz Phair is an American singer-songwriter and guitarist. [www.lizphair.com]

 
Desmond Tutu Desmond Tutu archbishop. author. peaceful leader.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu is Chairman of The Elders, a group of world leaders who address some of the world's most pressing problems. He works energetically for human-rights and in his ministry. [www.tutu.org]

 
Zainab Salbi Zainab Salbi author. ceo. humanitarian.

Zainab Salbi is the founder and CEO of Women for Women International, a group dedicated to helping women survivors of war rebuild their lives. [www.womenforwomen.org]

 
Sean Stephenson Sean Stephenson speaker. psychotherapist. life embracer.

Despite his physical challenges, Sean Stephenson has taken a stand for a quality of life that has inspired millions of people around the world. He's a professional speaker, psychotherapist, and author. [www.timetostand.com]

 
Kia Miller Kia Miller yogi. meditator. teacher.

Kia Miller teaches Yoga at Yoga Works in Los Angeles, leads teacher trainings, and runs retreats and workshops on meditation, chakras, pranayam, and mantras, and other practices. [www.kiamiller.com]

 
Simon Mainwaring Simon Mainwaring creator. writer. idea geek.

Simon Mainwaring is an ex-Nike/Wieden creative, former Worldwide Creative Director at Motorola/Ogilvy, branding/advertising writer, author/speaker/blogger, Australian, idea geek. [www.simonmainwaring.com]

 
Shannon Bindler Shannon Bindler Strategist. Writer. Life Coach.

Shannon Bindler is a style editor, life coach, and the co-founder of Get Up Girl, an empowerment company that inspires women to shine. [www.getupgirl.com]

 
Mathieu Bitton Mathieu Bitton Designer. Art Director. Passionate Creator.

Grammy-nominated art director/designer/photographer Mathieu Bitton has designed over 450 CDs and movie posters. He's a renowned collector of and authority on black films and their soundtracks. [www.candytangerine.com]

 
Jorge Perez Jorge Perez Agent. Producer. Photography Enthusiast.

Opus Reps founder and agent-producer Jorge Perez travels the world producing photo shoots with great photographers and celebrities. He's also very involved with Meals on Wheels in Los Angeles. www.opusreps.com

 

forgiving

Heide Banks Heide Banks relationship expert. author. partnership rep.

Heide Banks is a nationally recognized relationship expert, a bestselling author, and a TV personality. She's the official representative to the United Nations for The Center for Partnership Studies. [www.heidebanks.com]

My life is about forgiveness. In the work I’ve done with myself and others over the last 20 years, I’ve found that unless we really understand forgiveness and are willing to do it, our lives are half-lived.

Life is a series of experiences. Some of them leave us wounded or less than whole. We’re told that time heals all wounds, but it doesn’t. It buries the wounds in our subconscious. Then we try to start a new business or create deeper intimacy in our relationships or be a better parent – whatever journey we’re on at the time – and we wonder why it’s not successful, why we don’t feel all the joy and fulfillment we know is possible. It’s because the places where we lack forgiveness hold us back.

We mistakenly think that if we’ve been wounded in love it only affects our love life. Since he broke your heart, you’re not going to get into another intimate relationship. Yet in your career, you’re only getting so far. I’ve seen over and over again that when people forgive in one area of their life, like love, other areas, like career, jump ahead. They go from being happy enough to being fulfilled in a much greater way. There’s a new sense of ease and grace. It’s because they’ve freed themselves from a load of judgment and that old weight lifts from every part of their life.

The other thing I really care about is redefining forgiveness. In my experience, forgiveness is a process, an intention. Once we start out to forgive, what often happens is that a lot of anger and rage surfaces. There’s a part inside that’s so in need of loving at that moment. That’s where the real work in forgiveness starts, in looking inside at the wounded places and loving the parts that hurt.

Once we start to do that, we reach a state of neutrality or equanimity. Then we can approach whoever or whatever is bothering us. Until we get to that place, we blame them rather than taking the gift of the wound, which is the ability to heal and love ourselves.

Often, we don’t enter into forgiveness because when we look at what’s hurting us or where we’re in judgment, we create a memory of lost possibilities. Having the courage to look at lost possibilities is not easy. But rather than hold our hearts hard to what might have been, when we look and forgive we heal our whole lives.

So love like you’ve never been hurt before. Forgive. And live.

– Heide Banks

Comments

Explore More Meaning

  • Susan Segal
    Susan Segal Susan Segal tv diva. parenting coach. re-energizer.

    Susan Segal has mastered the art of reinventing herself. She appeared on numerous television shows as an actress and as a lifestyle and fashion reporter. She runs her own parenting classes and combines various methods of child education.

     
  • Brian Solis
    Brian Solis Brian Solis author. artful re-evaluator. hidden answer seeker.

    The new book by Brian Solis, What's the Future of Business: Changing the way businesses create experiences, explores the landscape of connected consumerism and how business and customer relationships unfold in four distinct moments of truth. [www.wtfbusiness.com]

     
  • Stephanie Bennett Vogt
    Stephanie Bennett Vogt Stephanie Bennett Vogt environment harmonizer. author. clutter clearer.

    Stephanie Bennett Vogt, MA, is an award-winning author and the founder of SpaceClear, a teaching and consulting practice dedicated to cultivating a clear home and a spacious life. [www.spaceclear.com]

     
  • Tammy Camp
    Tammy Camp Tammy Camp venture investor. creative adventurer. giver.

    Tammy Camp is a venture investor, company advisor, and adventure traveler. She's taken part in numerous successful business endeavors, including facilitating over a billion dollars in sales. [www.tammycamp.com]

     
  • Corrina Gordon-Barnes
    Corrina Gordon-Barnes Corrina Gordon-Barnes teacher of good. honest marketer. lover of vegan cheesecake.

    Corrina Gordon-Barnes is a Certified Professional Coach specializing in supporting women who want to turn their passion into a profitable business. [www.youinspireme.co.uk]

     
  • Sir Kenneth Robinson
    Sir Kenneth Robinson Sir Kenneth Robinson education reformer. author. genius.

    Sir Ken Robinson, PhD, is an author and internationally recognized leader in the development of creativity, innovation, and human resources in the new global economies. [www.sirkenrobinson.com]

     
  • Lynn Zavaro
    Lynn Zavaro Lynn Zavaro writer. creator. game maker.

    Lynn Zavaro guides others to know themselves and create the life they want. She's a writer, painter, teacher, and the creator of The Game of You. [www.gameofyou.com]

     
  • Fenesha Hubbard
    Fenesha Hubbard Fenesha Hubbard fearless lady. radio inspirer. challenge acceptor.

    Fenesha Hubbard helps women use their innate intuitive abilities to create profound changes in their lives. Find her teaching Kemetic Yoga, facilitating group learning sessions, and serving up fuel for your mind and soul on her radio show. [fenesha.com]

     
  • More

Contributors

  • Sam Freedman
    Sam Freedman Sam Freedman athlete marketer. avid sports fan. family man.

    Sam Freedman has a passion for sports. He works in Athlete Marketing at Fritz Martin Management, a boutique sports marketing agency. At 22, he has his dream job. And, yes, his family is very proud. [http://fritzmartin.com/]

     
  • Renée Trudeau
    Renée Trudeau Renée Trudeau speaker. life balance coach. affection spiller.

    Renée Peterson Trudeau is the author of the book Nurturing the Soul of Your Family. Thousands of women participate in Personal Renewal Groups based on her first book, the award-winning The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal. [www.ReneeTrudeau.com]

     
  • Gregory Stebbins
    Gregory Stebbins Gregory Stebbins sales psychologist. president. connector.

    Gregory Stebbins, Ed.D., is the co-founder and president of Insight University.

     
  • Pat Thomas
    Pat Thomas Pat Thomas writer. activist. asker of questions.

    Pat Thomas is a journalist, campaigner, and author specializing in health and environment. She's the author of dozens of books for adults and children and creator of the interactive game Infrequently Asked Questions. [www.iaqs.org.uk]

     
  • Aaron Ableman
    Aaron Ableman Aaron Ableman edutainer. musician. balancer.

    Aaron Ableman is an acclaimed "edutainer." He grew up under the mentorship of Hopi elders and children's musician Raffi, and has shared stages with K'NAAN and Joan Baez, among others. [www.balanceedutainment.com]

     
  • Danielle Boonstra
    Danielle Boonstra Danielle Boonstra intuitive. writer. journey sharer.

    Danielle is a writer, coach, and intuitive who simply must share her journey with honesty, love, and beautiful words. She's married to her best friend and has two delicious children. [http://danielleboonstra.com]

     
  • Jamie Gaul
    Jamie Gaul Jamie Gaul comedian. writer. blond.

    Jamie Gaul is a writer, improviser and stand up comedian in Los Angeles, CA. Whether she is on stage or off, she looks to help people find joy in life through laughter. [www.jamie-gaul.com]

     
  • John Hittler
    John Hittler John Hittler seemingly impossible creator. game changer. transformation coach.

    John Hittler coaches teams and individuals to transform their lives by design and choice, partnering with them to create significance in their lives. [www.evokinggenius.com]

     
  • Alexis Shepperd
    Alexis Shepperd Alexis Shepperd Life Coach. Authentic Relationship Builder.

    Alexis Shepperd, Ph.D., is a life coach and co-founder of the Authentic Woman Experience, dedicated to passionate romantic relationships, sisterhood, and every woman's birthright to adore her life. [www.authenticwomanexperience.com]

     
  • Jonathan Ellerby
    Jonathan Ellerby Jonathan Ellerby outdoor explorer. diversity accepter. extension of earth.

    Jonathan Ellerby, PhD, is a spiritual teacher, healer, author, and the CEO for the Tao Center for Inspired Living in the Mayan Riviera. [www.jonathanellerby.com]

     
  • Lissa Rankin
    Lissa Rankin Lissa Rankin pink medicine revolutionary. community builder. mojo reconnector.

    Author, artist, motivational speaker, and Pink Medicine Revolutionary Lissa Rankin, MD, founded OwningPink.com, a website and workshops that build authentic community and empower women to get their mojo back. [www.linkedin.com/in/lissarankin]

     
  • Robert Chapman
    Robert Chapman Robert Chapman ceo. heart-centric leader. human steward.

    Robert Chapman, Chairman and CEO of Barry-Wehmiller Companies, is committed to people-centric leadership, continuous improvement, and disciplined growth to realize a vision of "Achieving Principled Results on Purpose." [www.barry-wehmiller.com]

     
  • Kern Konwiser
    Kern Konwiser Kern Konwiser kin collaborator. judgement dropper. purity seeker.

    Kern Konwiser is a writer, director, and producer who, along with his brother, has collaborated with the industry's most influential artists to create award-winning features in different media. [www.konwiserbros.com]

     
  • Elaine Norton
    Elaine Norton Elaine Norton college grad. registered nurse. little lady raiser.

    Elaine Norton is a single 60-something mama. She has been Registered Nurse for over forty years, currently working for an Infectious Diseases specialist in Cincinnati, Ohio. Her daughter, Erin, lives in Los Angeles.

     
  • Allen Klein
    Allen Klein Allen Klein humor circulator. choice maker. passionate author.

    Jerry Lewis has said that Allen Klein is "a noble and vital force watching over the human condition." Klein is an award-winning speaker and author of 18 books including The Art of Living Joyfully. [www.allenklein.com]

     
  • Barbara Gluck
    Barbara Gluck Barbara Gluck photographer. connecter. meditator.

    Barbara Gluck is an award-winning photographer. She co-founded The Light Institute of Galisteo, which puts people in touch with their Divine Higher Self and multidimensional levels of consciousness. [www.BarbaraGluck.com]

     
  • Freedom To Choose: Prison Project
    Freedom To Choose: Prison Project Freedom To Choose: Prison Project  

    Over the past seven years, this service project has taught the basics of Spiritual Psychology to over 1,400 inmates at the Valley State Prison for Women.

     
  • Brooke Burke and Lisa Rosenblatt
    Brooke Burke and Lisa Rosenblatt Brooke Burke and Lisa Rosenblatt female empowerers. entrepreneurs. modern moms.

    Lisa Rosenblatt and Brooke Burke are the CEOs of ModernMom.com, creating a community for the woman behind the mom. [www.modernmom.com]

     
  • Cheryl Bigus
    Cheryl Bigus Cheryl Bigus truth seeker. voice attendant. nurturing teacher.

    Cheryl Bigus works with women who've neglected their well-being. She helps women regain vitality and hotness in their lives without punishing themselves through diets of deprivation or extreme workouts. [www.naturalvore.com]

     
  • Mike Riera
    Mike Riera Mike Riera speaker. author. parental philosopher.

    Mike Riera, PhD, speaks and writes on the topic of understanding teenagers and children. [www.mikeriera.com]

     
  • Shannon Bindler and Sophie Chiche
    Shannon Bindler and Sophie Chiche Shannon Bindler and Sophie Chiche shoeologist. meaning maven. ted x'ers.

    Shannon Bindler describes her pal, Soph, as a bridge, connecting countless people. Sophie Chiche describes her pal, Shan-Shan, as the sunshine that enters the room. In December of 2012 they presented their TEDxMalibu talk. [Happy Parents of Children who Live Out Loud]

     
  • Patrick Hanlon
    Patrick Hanlon Patrick Hanlon brand innovator. author. thinktopian.

    Founder and CEO of THINKTOPIA, Patrick Hanlon is acknowledged as one of the top brand innovation practitioners in the world. [www.thinktopia.com]

     
  • Tara Gentile
    Tara Gentile Tara Gentile depression overcomer. potential pusher. scoutie girl.

    Tara Gentile is a business strategist for entrepreneurs making a difference through commerce. She specializes in guiding businesses towards people-focused development and service. [www.taragentile.com]

     
  • Frank Ferrante
    Frank Ferrante Frank Ferrante self transformer. former addict. gratitude visitor.

    Frank Ferrante is a fifty-four year old Sicilian from Brooklyn whose journey to reclaim his life and fall in love again was the subject of a recent documentary. [May I Be Frank]

     
  • Mikey Scott
    Mikey Scott Mikey Scott life by me’er. comedian. pretty thankful guy.

    Life By Me’s Content Editor, Mikey Scott, gets to hear stories from people around the world creating meaningful (and pretty darn fun) lives for themselves. And he thinks that’s pretty neat. [www.mikeyscott.com]

     
  • Nancy Rosenfeld Daly
    Nancy Rosenfeld Daly Nancy Rosenfeld Daly candid author. passionate speaker. peaceful warrior of change.

    Nancy Rosenfeld Daly is a speaker, author, facilitator, and former CFO who merges neuroscience, consciousness, tribal wisdom, and business savvy to ignite discovery and change. [www.nancyrdaly.com]

     
  • Chris Cade
    Chris Cade Chris Cade writer. speaker. empowerer.

    Chris Cade is a spiritual author, speaker, impassioned parent, entrepreneur, and professional empowerment artist enabling people to discover their innate joy, peace, and abundance. [www.chriscade.com]

     
  • Kim MacGregor
    Kim MacGregor Kim MacGregor author. speaker. flash mobber.

    Kim MacGregor is a transformational leader, author, speaker, and the founder of the global movement "I Believe She's Amazing." [www.IBelieveShesAmazing.com]

     
  • Kute Blackson
    Kute Blackson Kute Blackson motivational speaker. coach. video star.

    Life coach and motivational speaker Kute Blackson assists people in living life's wild free-fall. He dares you to pick up the instrument that is your heart and play it fully. [www.kuteblackson.com]

     
  • More

Connection


© 2010-2023 lifebyme.com. All rights reserved. (design by nodethirtythree)